The power of habit
Most dialogue is carried on between people. One person thinks one thing is true. The other things something else is. They have a conversation to flush that out. If real dialogue has gone on, they’ve learned something more about the other person, understood their own ideas differently or in greater depth because they had to explain their ideas to another. In writing, dialog helps deepen character, further plot, and flush out subtext.
Often people have internal dialogues going on. We all carry people around in our heads. Parents who have died. Close friends who’ve passed on. The words and actions of famous people we admired when they were alive.
I carry an internal dialogue with me all the time. Often people hear me talking to myself. I’m trying to decide on something or there’s some sort of personal controversy. For example, the last quartet rehearsal we had, I was playing something I’ve known for years. But I was doing such a wretched job if it I just wondered if I shouldn’t just give it up altogether. I know I have about 5 years of useful life devoted to playing. I’ll have to quit sometime, but not yet. I didn’t want to quit, but I couldn’t stand to listen to how bad I was playing.
The next day I held a meeting with myself, and decided I had to either quit playing altogether, or start practicing. I’ve always hated practicing. When I was younger, I could go long periods of time without practicing with no noticeable diminution in my playing. It was usually just a little rust, and after a session or so I was back on track. Now I’m 75 going on 76. I have to work harder then when I was 30 just to stay in the same place.
So I decided I would pick up my viola and practice for at least a short time every day. I’d start out at 2-5 minutes or so and every day build up to where I could do it for an hour every day. Not 5 days a week, or taking one day off every two weeks, but EVERY DAY EVERY WEEK. Now, I’m 8 days into my pledge, and so far I’ve kept it. And I’m enjoying hearing myself play. That’s the real benefit. Yesterday I went almost the whole day without practicing. So I picked up my fiddle and practiced for 23 minutes. I kept my promise to myself for at least one day. Today is a new day, and I tell myself I only have to practice one day.
I’ll have to wait until we rehearse again before I know for sure if I play better, but I’m enjoying playing again. It’s not just an onerous task that I have to do. My desire to do it comes from inside me. That’s the best way I’ve found to develop a habit.
Developing a habit will help me keep to my schedule of writing this blog, too. That’s my next frontier, since I’ve been a little lazy about it.