Putting Words Together

I spend a lot of time putting words together. The right words, in the right order. Hemingway supposedly said that one word out of place can ruin a whole novel. I agree depending on the word. Words in the wrong order can make a reader at least laugh. He or she may know what I mean, but if it makes them augh he’s thinking about how stupid I am rather than thinking about the story.

For example, the old joke, simplified a bit, attributed to Groucho Marx: “This morning, I saw an elephant walking down the street in my pajamas.” That’s funny because the phrase “in my pajamas” modifies the elephant rather than what it should -- the speaker, and makes you think that the elephant, rather than Groucho, is in his pajamas. It should read, “This morning, in my pajamas, I saw an elephant walking down the street.” Remember that we read left to right. The most important words should go first.

The spokeswoman, in an ad for a female skin moisturizer says, “If you are not fully satisfied, with[product name], send it back for a full refund.” Send what back? my skin? I knew what they meant, but I wasted attention laughing at their gaff instead of thinking about how good their product is. The copy writer should have written, “Send [product name] back if you are not fully satisfied with what it does for your skin.”

Some famous writer said once, the first duty of a story is to be readable. Too many wrong words or the right words out of order can violate this advice and make the story unreadable. You’ll want to be confident that even after several years, your work will be readable. You won’t want to think, “How stupid I was back then.” And, who knows? You may change your mind and decide to show it to someone else.

And you’ll want to do that without feeling the need to apologize for it. Take it from somebody who is a very poor self-editor and makes a ton of typos (provided at no extra cost, of course.)